So. We had ourselves a baby! A beautiful 6 lb 11 oz baby girl at 7:30am Monday, Sept 8. What a way to start the week. But let’s flashback to Sunday when I was still pregnant. It was a big game day for Michael and we had the free weekend of the NFL Ticket channels or whatever it is called. So basically Mike watched 38 games all at the same time and was super excited. I had nagging minor period feeling cramps all day. I had an underlying feeling that things might be happening, but of course had no real clue. So I continued to waddle around, cleaning up, and anxious for my doctor’s appointment the next day. The previous Monday, at 38 weeks, I was 2cm dilated and 75% effaced. The doc assured me many times that didn’t mean anything was happening anytime soon.

So back to Sunday night…I decide to just go to bed because my cramps have persisted and I didn’t really feel like doing anything else. I lay there a while and decide that maybe I should time them because they felt a little more organized than earlier in the day. So I timed and timed and timed again. They were pretty short in duration but only about 8 minutes apart. It is probably about 10:30 or 11pm at this point. Fastforward two hours and we are arriving at the hospital. My “cramps” are officially contractions now and while each one didn’t last very long, they were 4-5 minutes apart. I get checked in and robed up to find out I am 3cm and 80% effaced. The nurse she would come back and check me in an hour. An hour later she said I am still 3 cm! I was deflated at this news. She calls the midwife on call who tells her we could go back home and come back in the morning or stay the night…our choice. Since it is already 3:30am at this point and we live about 35 minutes from the hospital, I decided to stay. A short time later I can really tell the contractions are getting stronger and upon vomiting repeatedly, they offered up some anti-nausea and some weak ass pain meds to take the edge off.

All sense of time and awareness deteriorate after this point. I know I was trying to maneuver on the hospital bed into a more suitable for handling pain position when I feel something inside me pop. It was a strange and scary feeling. I had no idea what was happening and was slightly panicked. I called for the nurse and she was “I guess maybe your water broke?” I’m thinking ‘Bitch you are a labor and delivery nurse! If you don’t know, who does?!’ Now I’m really glad we didn’t leave the hospital and really wanting the weak ass pain meds.  I know they checked me again before administering the weak ass pain meds and WTF I’m at 5cm! Then all I remember was it felt like years before I saw another person. My contractions were getting to be an out of body experience. Like your mind cannot truly comprehend the amount of pain. I tried to “breathe through them” and although in a way it is a crock of shit, it does help to concentrate on breathing while you are begging with every fiber for this one to be over. So finally one of the nurses is back and she checks me again. It is the same nurse that wasn’t sure my water had broken…she has a confused look on her face and says she is going to get the other nurse. I just remember being confused then maybe blacking out again.

The next thing I know, the good nurse is putting on gloves and talking to Mike about something. I am like “Am I getting my epidural now OR WHAT?!” The nurse is like “No honey, there is no time, you’re getting ready to PUSH. WHAT?!?!?! My world crumbled and complete terror washed over me. I could NOT do this without an epidural. It had not ever entered my mind. I told them repeatedly I HAD to have an epidural. I HAD TO. I was so scared but the reality was I had to push. And right now. So Mike tells me I pushed for around 45 minutes, although it didn’t actually seem that long. It took everything out of me. Mike fanned me the entire time because I was so hot. I kept thinking how good the air felt. I knew failure was not an option and that the more superior I performed, the sooner it would be over. The nurse and midwife all seemed super excited about my pushing skillz and that helped. #overachiever

And in a moment it was all over. The baby was out. It was horrific and incredible. And then I was so happy to actually SEE the baby I had talked about and felt kicking my ribs for months. So as far as labors go, mine was really fast especially for a first baby. We got to the hospital at 1:25am and Sloan Kelly popped out at 7:30am. Since all I seemed to read on the internets were terrible stories, I want you to know that while I had a very minor first degree tear, I did not even need one stitch “down there.” Yes things are sore, but it was not nearly as bad as I was expecting. Basically I am a baby having machine. And that is my birth story.

I have been a mom for 5 days now. It is wonderful and all consuming and scary and hard. But holding your own baby is like nothing else in the world. Last night we were all on the couch. Rolo with his head in my lap, Sloan in my arms, Wilson snuggled up between me and Mike…it was perfect.