Author Archives: summersantana

My grown up wish list.

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A couple things first…

So I dyed my hair brown and I am loving it. Hooray! I can check one thing off my life to-do list. You can check it out on insta if you are so inclined.

My awesome internet friend, Jessica, has started her very own blog…go follow now @ Winchester Wife.

So now for my current grown up wish list.

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Searching for the perfect desk for our awesome little office | Loving these custom drapes for our living room via Etsy | Saw this image of Cottages & Bungalows mag via Studioten25‘s instagram…must paint something like this for our house asap. I’m thinking cow and/or horse | Keeping my fashion simple and basic just like my dear friend Reese | In order to do this, I pretty much need the uber popular Rockstud flats.

What is on your grown up wish list? Do tell.

Plus and minus

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I don’t really make resolutions. BUT I do often think with the new year what I’d like to change, add, delete to my life.

CHANGE: I have this thing where I will know exactly what I want, but will somehow let someone (someone = my husband) or the price tag change my mind. I will get what I sort of like, end up hating, wanting to get rid of and buy what I wanted to begin with. In the end I waste money, time, and happiness by trying to be cheap or compromising too much.

ADD: Fresh air. Last winter was atrocious, I was in my first trimester, remodeling a house, and living in an office/warehouse. I don’t feel like I was outside enough. The summer came and I was really hot, really pregnant, and basically couldn’t deal with being outside. So now I’m ready to get OUT and breathe. Be it with my little family or alone, I can’t stand to be stagnant any longer.

ADD: Hobbies. Paint more. Sell said paintings. Maybe try tennis again. I suck at tennis.

DELETE: Complaining about dog hair and dirty floors. This seems trivial, but in my house it is a constant battle and I spend so much time being aggravated by both. I love my dog and he’s not going anywhere so with him comes dog hair aplenty. I love my husband and he’s not going anywhere so with him comes boots, and dirt, and dirty boots.

ADD: Meal planning. It works. Makes my week go so much smoother and my grocery shopping has purpose. Instead of just wandering the aisles buying random ingredients and then getting home with nothing to eat.

CHANGE: My hair color! Mixing it up on Thursday because I can. Taking this pic of the Duff to my hair girl.

So a few things I’m pondering. Obvi much of my year will be spent watching my little baby girl grow and learn new things every day. 2015 is going to be great.

Changes

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Here I was sitting in my hotel room getting ready to fire up some Netflix (even though I am out of stuff to watch)…and I start thinking about my hair. I go to Kate – Small Things Blog to check out her new do after seeing it on insta and thinking…’hey that’s what i want.’ Seeing her hair led me to pinterest and more hair pics, which reminded me that Blake Lively’s pregnant hair was of interest. So then I started looking at her pics. You know what will make you feel bad about yourself? Blake Lively.

What the hell is she always laughing at? Le sigh.

Oh well. I do want different hair though. I am thinking lo lights all around and then some blonde right around my face. We’ll see how that works out. I haven’t had it cut since July. No amount of moroccan oil in the world will keep my hair from breaking at this point. Although it has certainly helped me grow my hair quite a bit longer than usual. Having fine, fragile hair is truly a curse. #problems

Matchmaker, matchmaker

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Make me a match…

More than ever before, I’ve really thought about all I am thankful for this year. Obviously a healthy baby tops the list. She has added a new dimension to my life, and after several years of contemplation about whether I wanted kids, I’m thankful I took the plunge and we were able to bring little Sloan Kelly into this world.

A couple days before Thanksgiving I got a phone call that could possibly change my life and more importantly could save a life. My dad was diagnosed with leukemia in 2009 and would end up needing a bone marrow transplant. At the time we felt hopeful because he had three sisters, siblings being the best opportunity for a match since they share your dna. Unfortunately, a sibling match still only happens about 30% of the time. This is where the National Bone Marrow Registry steps in and facilitates finding an unrelated donor. Joining the registry is super easy, just a cheek swab with a big q-tip and you’re done. {Haven’t joined? Go to BetheMatch.com now!} My family and friends really campaigned over the years to add as many people to the registry as possible. We found out my dad has a peculiar “typing” and this made finding a donor difficult. Lucky for us, there is also an international registry which is where my dad ended up finding his donor match. His life saving donor. Because someone on another continent made the choice to do that cheek swab, my dad is still here today, and for that I am thankful. He is able to celebrate the holidays with us and able to know his granddaughter. It is a big freakin deal to me and to my family.

So my story is that Be the Match called me on Monday. I am a preliminary match for someone else out there fighting for their life and in search of an unrelated donor. It has been very emotional for me thinking that I would possibly have the opportunity to say thank you in the biggest way. It is a bit of a process and I don’t know anything for sure yet, but I am hopeful.

Joining this registry is a commitment. A commitment that when that phone call comes you are willing to essentially be a true hero. My dad had two potential donor matches, but the first person that was contacted backed out. Please do not put yourself on this registry if you are not committed to following through. Being a donor these days means that you are hooked up to a machine as if you are giving blood. That’s it! No big needles in your spine for a total stranger. {Full disclosure…that is still a possibility but rare.} Thank you modern medicine and stem cell research. My sister explains the process more on her blog HERE.

Leukemia and other blood cancers cannot be surgically removed like tumors. Some types are very aggressive and surviving them is a miracle, and often not an option without a bone marrow transplant. So if you’re thinking about giving back this season, help raise awareness for these diseases and for this registry!

Getting by

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All I really want to talk about is how hard it is being a mom. How hard it is to feed your child. How hard it is to feel “normal” when you haven’t had a decent amount of sleep in a month. How hard it is to not scream at your husband when he hasn’t fed the dogs. How hard it is not to cry every morning when you realize your pre-preg jeans still don’t fit. How hard it is to drink enough water! How hard it is to look at the clock and realize you need to pump. Again. How hard it is to “sleep when she sleeps.” How hard it is not to go bat shit when someone tells you to sleep when she sleeps. How hard it is when your kid won’t keep the damn pacifier in her mouth. Just do it! How hard it is to wake up with a crying baby and realize your dog is chewing your Tory Burch flats. Granted that gives me a reason to need new black flats. Now no one can say I’m negative nancy.

Things helping us get by…

Coffee | Grandmas | Baby bath time | Netflix | the Rock N Play | …Coffee

And then there was a baby.

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So. We had ourselves a baby! A beautiful 6 lb 11 oz baby girl at 7:30am Monday, Sept 8. What a way to start the week. But let’s flashback to Sunday when I was still pregnant. It was a big game day for Michael and we had the free weekend of the NFL Ticket channels or whatever it is called. So basically Mike watched 38 games all at the same time and was super excited. I had nagging minor period feeling cramps all day. I had an underlying feeling that things might be happening, but of course had no real clue. So I continued to waddle around, cleaning up, and anxious for my doctor’s appointment the next day. The previous Monday, at 38 weeks, I was 2cm dilated and 75% effaced. The doc assured me many times that didn’t mean anything was happening anytime soon.

So back to Sunday night…I decide to just go to bed because my cramps have persisted and I didn’t really feel like doing anything else. I lay there a while and decide that maybe I should time them because they felt a little more organized than earlier in the day. So I timed and timed and timed again. They were pretty short in duration but only about 8 minutes apart. It is probably about 10:30 or 11pm at this point. Fastforward two hours and we are arriving at the hospital. My “cramps” are officially contractions now and while each one didn’t last very long, they were 4-5 minutes apart. I get checked in and robed up to find out I am 3cm and 80% effaced. The nurse she would come back and check me in an hour. An hour later she said I am still 3 cm! I was deflated at this news. She calls the midwife on call who tells her we could go back home and come back in the morning or stay the night…our choice. Since it is already 3:30am at this point and we live about 35 minutes from the hospital, I decided to stay. A short time later I can really tell the contractions are getting stronger and upon vomiting repeatedly, they offered up some anti-nausea and some weak ass pain meds to take the edge off.

All sense of time and awareness deteriorate after this point. I know I was trying to maneuver on the hospital bed into a more suitable for handling pain position when I feel something inside me pop. It was a strange and scary feeling. I had no idea what was happening and was slightly panicked. I called for the nurse and she was “I guess maybe your water broke?” I’m thinking ‘Bitch you are a labor and delivery nurse! If you don’t know, who does?!’ Now I’m really glad we didn’t leave the hospital and really wanting the weak ass pain meds.  I know they checked me again before administering the weak ass pain meds and WTF I’m at 5cm! Then all I remember was it felt like years before I saw another person. My contractions were getting to be an out of body experience. Like your mind cannot truly comprehend the amount of pain. I tried to “breathe through them” and although in a way it is a crock of shit, it does help to concentrate on breathing while you are begging with every fiber for this one to be over. So finally one of the nurses is back and she checks me again. It is the same nurse that wasn’t sure my water had broken…she has a confused look on her face and says she is going to get the other nurse. I just remember being confused then maybe blacking out again.

The next thing I know, the good nurse is putting on gloves and talking to Mike about something. I am like “Am I getting my epidural now OR WHAT?!” The nurse is like “No honey, there is no time, you’re getting ready to PUSH. WHAT?!?!?! My world crumbled and complete terror washed over me. I could NOT do this without an epidural. It had not ever entered my mind. I told them repeatedly I HAD to have an epidural. I HAD TO. I was so scared but the reality was I had to push. And right now. So Mike tells me I pushed for around 45 minutes, although it didn’t actually seem that long. It took everything out of me. Mike fanned me the entire time because I was so hot. I kept thinking how good the air felt. I knew failure was not an option and that the more superior I performed, the sooner it would be over. The nurse and midwife all seemed super excited about my pushing skillz and that helped. #overachiever

And in a moment it was all over. The baby was out. It was horrific and incredible. And then I was so happy to actually SEE the baby I had talked about and felt kicking my ribs for months. So as far as labors go, mine was really fast especially for a first baby. We got to the hospital at 1:25am and Sloan Kelly popped out at 7:30am. Since all I seemed to read on the internets were terrible stories, I want you to know that while I had a very minor first degree tear, I did not even need one stitch “down there.” Yes things are sore, but it was not nearly as bad as I was expecting. Basically I am a baby having machine. And that is my birth story.

I have been a mom for 5 days now. It is wonderful and all consuming and scary and hard. But holding your own baby is like nothing else in the world. Last night we were all on the couch. Rolo with his head in my lap, Sloan in my arms, Wilson snuggled up between me and Mike…it was perfect.

 

 

T minus

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Looks like my baby timer could go off any minute! Doc said I am pretty far ahead for 37 weeks and to be ready. Yikes! Hopefully Baby S will bake at least another week or two.

Speaking of baking…my stomach was a bottomless pit yesterday and I really wanted a cookie. Or 8. My sister suggested her go-to cookie recipe and while I wasn’t keen on actually putting forth the effort to soften butter and mix ingredients, I decided to stop being a lazy bum and get in the kitchen. Being that the last several times I’ve made cookies it has been from the bag mix…I could really tell a difference and these were amazing. So do yourself a favor and pin this recipe.

Ever since seeing this image floating around Pinterest, I have kept wanting a pair of clogs for fall in the back of my mind. I love anytime I can add a heel and still look completely casual. These will be perfect with basically any jeans, but especially long flares and ankle skinnys. This exact pair has been somewhat difficult to track down, but I’m pretty sure they are the Sven Clogs.

I have a short but quality fall wishlist, including these JBrand’s which are probably on everyone’s fall wishlist at this point. I feel like I’ve already seen them a lot but they are good, so I understand. J.Brand 8227 Mid-Rise Ankle Jeans. I think the frayed ankle length hem is what wins me over.

I think I’m going to go have a cookie now. Happy Hump Day!

Rise and shine

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It is 5:30am and I’ve been up for close to two hours. So uncool. I did get some fun thank you cards ordered via Tiny Prints. Their shipping is sooo fast and you can almost always find a coupon code online for 20% off or free shipping, plus the quality is super.

I have checked instagram and facebook and pinterest. Not a lot going on this time of day.

Rolo is currently snoozing on his back and wagging his tail. He must be having a happy dream. How cute.

I’ve been on an online shopping spree the past few days. I ordered a set of maternity/nursing pajamas, adorable hooded towels from pottery barn {they are having a massive sale}, and then the mother of all orders from target yesterday of several registry items I still needed, oh..and thank you cards. Target ended up being the best deal by using my completion coupon and Red Card. Plus free shipping on everything of course. I broke down and ordered the 4moms mamaRoo swing. Can’t beat the footprint and let’s just pray that Baby S loves it.

I don’t really have anything else to do now, but hey…it’s FRIDAY!

Blame it on the rain

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I may be the only one, but I have enjoyed the days upon days of rain. Nothing makes you feel worthless like being a blob and looking outside and it is a gorgeous day. I haven’t felt like doing anything. I am constantly tired, my back hurts basically 24/7, this little fetus is practicing her dance moves on my ribs. Yeah, I’m complaining, so what. Rolo has been extra sweet today making me want to curl up in my bed and snuggle with him all the more appealing. Wilson decided to pee on my rug yesterday.

This is Wilson in trouble. So stinkin cute.

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I made brownies last night. Sometimes brownies are really delicious.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I am looking forward to wearing jeans (comfortably), tshirt, blazer, and boots. Every year fall creeps its way to the top of my favorite season list. Sorry summer. Ha. I’m also looking forward to champagne.

I need some good freezer meals…go.

33 weeks

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33 weeks? For serious? It blows my mind how fast this 40 weeks is going. It’s been a while since I did one of these “bumpdates” so here goes.

Total weight gain: 22 lbs!! I’m gaining about a pound a week right now. Yikes.

Sleep: That pregnancy insomnia I’ve read about has finally reared its ugly head. Still getting up to pee at least once a night.

Best moment this week: Definitely my baby shower!! I was seriously emotionally moved by how much thought my bffs put into it. It was amazing and perfect. Yes, I am wearing the blue dress again. It will probably be its last appearance as it is not maternity and not stretchy. IMG_0198

Worst moment of the week: Sciatic nerve pain. It is awful.

Miss Anything? Just being comfortable doing..anything. I can only imagine how lovely the next 6+ weeks are going to be.

Food cravings: BREAD. Like biscuits and rolls. And I’ve been eating a ton of cereal.

Food aversions: Not really.

Symptoms: Back pain and congestion. I’ve also started swelling as of this past weekend. Mostly my fingers…my rings are definitely tight. My ankles/feet swell some by the end of the day.

Workouts: Yoga and walking. I had started riding my bike but it made me have to pee really bad, oh and then it got stolen.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Mostly pretty happy. Sometimes I let myself get freaked completely out if I read too much on the internet about labor and the first couple months of baby life.

Looking forward to: Getting the nursery put together. We have most of our furniture out of the box, but nothing is actually assembled. My glider should arrive by Friday. I need to order my fabric for the cornices and decide on a rug.

 

I am also looking forward to getting my hair done today. And making biscuits.